I’m afraid of you.
I’m afraid to get close to you again.
I’m afraid of what you think of me now.
I’m afraid of what you feel for me now. If you do at all..
I’m afraid of what I feel for you.
I’m afraid of the possibilities I know are before us.
I’m afraid of the rejection I may be dealt if I see us through.
I’m afraid of trying this time around.
But I want to try.
Don’t I? What is real???
BUT I DON’T HAVE ANY RIGHT TO… do I?
It’s been five years… how why when what?
Is what I’m ‘feeling’ merely a sense of obligation?
Or do I actually feel something for you?
…did I always harbour these feelings for you?
…did they develop during the time that has passed?
…or become realized only after I ruined everything?!
Confession: I always look back.
And after NYE… I’ve found that I want you now.
Perhaps I didn’t understand it before, being only fourteen…
But what I do understand now is that what I feel for you is identical to what I felt for him when he unknowingly challenged me, intruiged me, ultimately leading to my wanting of being his one and only.
Win him over… make him mine.
Difference is… this time it’s you.
You are the one that I want.
Oh Lord… tell me, What do I do now?
